we laid down, our bodies side by side, the only human beings for miles. it was relaxation in it’s essence. we kept our backs to the earth, mud coating our legs and hair entwined with the soft green grass, staring straight up into the atmosphere’s wonder. it was an inscrutable, hazy mystery to us both. i tilted my head all the way back, and then twisted my neck in a circle so that i could understand where i was. but then, i realized i didn’t want an answer. i liked being lost.
i run fast away from the [red] burning, but
envy, greed, lust
and the other four deadly vices
line themselves up on my shoulders
keeping me company in my [violet] thoughts at night
i drown in their suffocating existence
and i wait for the good parts of my life to catch up
as my bruised, black and [blue] eyes shut tightly
you will be my atmosphere,
and i will be my own sun
i wish that once in a while, when the sun starts to set… it would just stay in that position for a few extra hours. i can’t help but become drawn to setting sun. the sky swirls up and turns into an acid, colors undefined and blurring together as if they know what they’re doing.
i want to pause the sun when it’s falling, falling… halfway underneath the earth… slightly peeking out over the mountains. i love how the soft light creates a glow off of every surface. tree branches appear in patterns across my body as the shadows begin to crawl over me. and i want to be able to look down at the ground and be reminded of who i’m standing next to.
i need to get my hands on harry potter and the deathly hallows. now.
an old house, peeling and falling apart slowly, weathered and worn… it still sits tucked away behind a few trees, separating it from the busy street and the quiet forest.
i visited it for the first time in a year. fear evaporating between shortened breaths, i kicked open the door with one of my combat boots. i led the way… i flashed my flashlight out of the cracked windows, as if daring someone to come and find me.
a memory came to me then… a small thought.
a year ago, we wouldn’t have dreamed of taking pictures inside this beautiful house. we kept them sacred. secret. ours.
“you can’t change something that doesn’t want to be changed,” i thought to myself silently.